Who wants to go to the goddamn Astros-Phillies game tomorrow?
Roger Clemens. Cole Hamels. 3:05 start time. I mean, come ON.
(The above question is rhetorical.)
Possibly the best comic strip collection ever: The Boondocks, "Because I Know You Don't Read The Newspaper."
Observe: (Huey's prospective teacher and principal are chatting about the difficulties of having a black kid in class.)
Teacher: "I don't know anything about black people. What if I say the wrong thing? The school will get sued - I'll lose my job..."
Principal: "I'm way
ahead of ya, John. I've already asked the board for emergency 'sensitivity training' funds. Not much, but it's a start."
T: "Sensitivity training?"
P: "I rented a bunch of movies from a video store in the city. They should give you a good exposure to black culture."
T: "'Menace II Society?' 'Shaft's Big Score!'? 'Dolemite'? 'The Mack'
P: "Enjoy. Late fees are on you."
Next day's, continued:
T: "Do you think a movie named 'Booty Call' will really make me more racially sensitive, sir?"
P: "The black kid behind the counter said it was a classic. Look, we have 'Truck Turner,' 'B.A.P.S.,' 'Black Belt Jones' - all powerful portrayals of the black experience, according to that kid - and he should know. See here? Jim Kelly in 'Black Samurai.' I bet you didn't even know there were black samurai. You're learning already."
T: "Sir, was the kid behind the counter laughing when you rented these?"
P: "They're a naturally jovial people, John.""They're a naturally jovial people