it's words!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

hey hey baby hey

You know, you can't legitimately say "Another day, another dollar" unless you're only making $365 a year. That'd suck.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

this just feels like spinning

Okay, so let's say hypothetically there was a certain bitter, licorice-like herb which, when eaten, would bestow upon the consumer unmatched kindness and moral clarity. Could that be called - again, hypothetically - a tarragon of virtue?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

i met a fox the other day

Think there's any chance of a Megan Mullally sex tape emerging? Fingers crossed, everyone.

I'm gonna be an uncle! I'm irrationally stoked about this.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

fighting fighting yes i'm fighting not to

Surely one of the worst things about being a politician is having to be willing to repeat your jokes countless times because they may be new to whatever audience you're addressing. If I were John McCain, I'd have been pretty pleased with myself the first time I pulled out the one that goes: "You know, some people say Congress spends money like a drunken sailor; I once got a letter from a retired Navy fellow that said, 'As a former drunken sailor, I resent that comparison!'" But then as I'd have to tell it again and again at debates and town halls and to individual Iowans and New Hampshirites, I'd probably die a little inside each time.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

these arms - these arms long to hold you - hold you again

I find myself in the untenable and uncomfortable position of defending Fred Thompson, who said that Osama bin Laden, quote, "ought to be caught and killed," but that "we've got due process to go through. I'm not suggesting those things (catching and killing) happen simultaneously."

I'm pretty sure he's right - that we do, in fact, have a process that we go through in such situations - but Thompson's catching flak for saying we're gonna do anything other than catch him, interrogate him, and decapitate him, boom boom boom.

"*** Tennessee, We Have A Problem: Yesterday, we said Thompson hadn't yet made a flub like Wes Clark did in 2003 (when he couldn’t answer a reporter’s questions whether or not he would have voted for the 2002 Iraq war resolution -- a big no-no for someone campaigning as the anti-war general). But now, we're not so sure: Can a Republican presidential candidate really flub what they'd do with Osama, not once (symbolism) but twice (due process)?"

It's much like how Rudy is going to get creamed for saying illegal immigration is not and should not be a criminal matter.

Jiminy, I need a shower after that.