shakira's hips are a lot like cocaine

Can you guess how?

**

There were some quotes tonight that were fairly without price. A couple examples, neither of which I can take credit for:

1. "Here's the thing about my dick."

2. Setup: "I completely forgot I have Charlie Frye on the bench. Obviously you start the guy who's playing the Raiders instead of a guy who's playing the Bears or the Eagles."
Response: "You know that alphabet thing when you're eating out a girl? That doesn't work at all."

**

Let's talk about songs that manage to have really good and really bad lyrics in them. One example is "Heavy Fuel" by Dire Straits. Here're some awful lyrics, for example:

My chick loves a man who's strong
The things she'll do to turn me on
I love the babes, don't get me wrong
Hey, that's why I wrote this song

I mean, that's just terrible. Now, same song:

Don't care if my liver is hangin' by a thread
Don't care if my doctor says I ought to be dead
When my ugly big car won't climb this hill
I'll write a suicide note on a hundred-dollar bill

That's awesome. How, Mr. Knopfler, can you subject the greatness of the latter stanza to the misery that is the former? How?

I'll get back to you as soon as I can think of another example.

**

I accidentally listened to a little bit of Hannity or something like that today - whatever's on AM radio at 4:00 - and some guy called in and said that this thing with the Mark Foley (R-Fla.) guy who sent sex e-mails to a teenage boy was just another illustration of the pestilent cesspool that passes for Democrats' moral values.

Huh?

Right.

I didn't get it either.