if i had your number, you'd be getting a phone call...

It has become obvious, in this age of mega-churches, that Christianity is where the money's at right now. I've decided to cash in.

How, you ask?

I'll tell you.

Very soon, I will be starting up a line of Christian health clubs - complete with private shower stalls, holy water fountains, and bread of the Lord in the vending machines.

I'm calling it "Jehovah's Fitness."